What can I do for You, God?

Leading worship this past weekend, I needed to rework some of the lyrics for one of the songs. I had a comment after the first of three services and I realized that although the songwriter didn’t mean to say what it sounded like he was saying, it may have come off implying something different. I had two more services to go so I attempted to take another stab at it.

I just needed to rework the chorus a bit and it was fine – I believe that as worshipers when we respond to the call of worship it can sometimes look and sound like indebtedness or payback. I’m not sure we’re actually thinking that we are going to ‘return the favour’ to God….but maybe it does, maybe unintentionally we are?

“God, You just sit right there and let me take it from here – You’ve done a lot for me this week, so You can take next week off and I’ll just give You back what You’ve given me and then we’ll call it even, ok?”

Ok, so that’s funny because in our heads we know that we can’t ever repay God for what He has done and we could never give Him anything that we haven’t actually already received from Him, but as human – flesh and bone, we do tend to make things about ourselves and at times when we are doing really good we somehow feel (maybe it’s just me – ouch!) that ‘me and God are a team’. He scratches my back and I scratch His.

Funny to say it outloud but in our performance-driven Christianity, this is one of our sins.

Let me just be very clear about me – everything I am, all I have is because of God’s grace. So when I worship God, I worship Him because of HIM, because of WHO is IS and for all HE has DONE in my life. I have no self-seeking when it comes to worship – it is a response to the love I have for Him and to bring myself to Him everyday because without Him I am nothing. I need Him. I love Him desperately.

There is nothing we could ever do to deserve or return what God has done – so when we worship, it’s easy – we can respond to what God has done and Who God is – with thankfulness, with obedience, essentially with worship.

We can take what God has given us and get involved in our communities, in loving the outcasts, fighting for social justice, feeding the hungry, clothing the homeless, and walking humbly before our God.

This is our response to what God has done – this is our worship – this is not payback or a return on His investment. What He has done and what we do in response are two different things.

I think the problem with the song that I received a complaint about was that the person somehow felt it was implied that I was singing to God about how I was gonna do something great for Him based on what He had done for me. And I am grateful to have been reminded again that not only is this impossible for me to try, it is sinful for me to think along these lines because every day we are faced with the temptation to do things our way and somehow it makes us feel like we are closer to God with every success.

If I overcome temptation today – it’s because of the grace of God in my life. It’s not because I am strong – it’s because I am so weak that God becomes strength in me.

Psalm 50:7-15 (Message Paraphrase); God speaking here:

Are you listening, dear people? I’m getting ready to speak;
Israel, I’m about ready to bring you to trial.
This is God, your God, speaking to you.
I don’t find fault with your acts of worship, the frequent burnt sacrifices you offer.
But why should I want your blue-ribon bull, or more and more goats from your herds?
Every creature in the forest in mine, the wild animals on all the mountains.
I know every mountain bird by name; the scampering field mice are my friends.
If I get hungry, do you think I’d tell you?
All creation and its bounty are mine.
Do you think I feast on venison?
Or drink draughts of goats’ blood?
Spread for me a banquet of praise,
serve High God a feast of kept promises,
and call for help with you’re in trouble-
I’ll help you, and you’ll honour me.

Do you see those last 4 lines? This is what God is asking of us (my paraphrase). Worship Me, He says. Keep Your promises to Me, and call on Me when you are in trouble so I can help you and you will honour Me.

Yikabees – it’s that simple. Wow. We can sometimes make our worship so complicated but God doesn’t. He knows who we are and He knows who He is. He’s not asking for something we can’t do. He knows our limitations and He accepts us in this kind of simplicity.

Enjoy your day – find new things to be thankful for. Call on God today – let Him be your Strength as you love Him today.

With lots of love,
er

Glorious get-together

Read Ps. 87 today. Now I’ve read the Bible, I read it all the time but I don’t recall ever reading this chapter before. Or at least not like this. Weird.

“On the holy mount stands the city he founded; the Lord loves the gates of Zion more than all the dwelling places of Jacob. Glorious things of you are spoken, O city of God.” [Psalm 87:1-3]

I looked up the notes on these three verses:

[ESV note: The opening section describes Zion, the capital of God's people, as the city God founded, the city whose gates the Lord loves, the city of God. Its location on the holy mount shows why it is so glorious: it is the place of the temple, where God's people meet Him.]

This truth never ceases to leave my mouth hanging open. As much as I am constantly reminded of God’s love everyday by His goodness revealed all around me, it still blows my mind that God loves spending time with me. Not only that, but what I’m hearing here (above) is that our “being together” is glorious. God and I – we are a glorious meeting. It’s something that we both find glorious. Not just me – being with Him, but He too feels this way because I’m His creation. The work of His hands and formed in His image.

God thinks being with me is glorious. “Wow”, is pretty much all I can say here. Being with His people is a glorious get-together. Where I can speak freely with Him and He with me (if i stay still long enough to hear Him – which if you know me at all – isn’t a given )

I think God makes everything Glorious – so the God part of our getting together is what makes it glorious – but i do love the fact that my God absolutely loves being with me.

Another cause for worship – how can I not give to Him all I am, when all I am is because of Him and He loves me, O, how He loves me.

Have a great Wednesday,
xo

Life

Something to share: [above] Here’s the chai latte Jessie made for me the other day – she’s our own little barista – so adorable and she makes one heckuva chai latte. Thanks Jess! What I love most is that she took the picture of it herself to send to Cliff while he was working one night. Complete with cinnamon sprinkles….she never wants us to miss out on anything if one of isn’t home. I love that! Just like her daddy.

First day of Bible Study today. I am leading a woman’s study on the book “Lies Women believe and the truth that sets them free”. (Great book!) Got me thinking about John 10:10 – Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. Such great news, but such great [BIG] obstacles in the way of that.

Today I’m thinking about abundant life – the life that Jesus fought for us to have on the cross. I think that by choosing to live this great gift requires us to choose it daily. The gift of abundant life is for us, but it just doesn’t happen. It takes repentance (turning from our sins), it takes acknowledgment of our need of a saviour, it takes accountability and a deep study of God’s Word. It takes an active Christian life, being a part of a local church – well you get the idea…

I think this again looks like a life of worship. This life that Jesus gives us, isn’t a promise of ‘only good things’, it’s a promise that in spite of what is going on we can have peace, joy, faith, love, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. When we have these things, we are living more abundantly than ever – God is being glorified, and well we are worshiping God in all we are doing – good and bad, happy and sad – the one thing that doesn’t change is the fact that God is still God and we are still made to worship.

There’s a great line in the bridge of Brooke Fraser’s,[the] Desert Song. It’s my favorite part of the song: “All of my life, in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship”. (I’ll include a link to this just so you can enjoy it too…).

I want to be free to worship God in all I do – I’m endeavouring to live my life that way – some days better than others but I’m trying.

I think when I remember (or am reminded) of what Jesus gave for our freedom, I can’t help but respond in worship – and that worship includes living for Him in all I say, do, feel and think.

Have a great night…weekend is coming! Enjoy your family. Do it all to the glory of God!
xo

Goodness of God

I’m thinking my life looks a lot like goodness to me… Here are some random pictures of us – there’s a picture of Cliff and Jess on the ferry to Stanton Island just a little over a month ago – something about this picture makes me feel good. I think I took this picture on my phone so it’s nothing flashy I just love it for some reason.

The rest of the pictures were taken on a trip last month and when looking at them today I just had a sense of favour – God’s faithfulness and freedom. I am so thankful for what God has done in my life – He’s the only reason I have life today.

The picture of my mom and Cliff is a great testimony of God’s healing – just over 4 years ago I didn’t think I was going to have a mom for much longer. Thanks to Cliff’s beautiful heart for people, my mom received a healthy liver from him and now she is having the time of her life. God has given her a new lease on life. And she’s living life to the full!

We have friends who love us and we love back (that’s a good thing) and we have 2 healthy, beautiful children who love God and have a huge love of people. What more could a mom ask for, eh? I have a husband who loves me deeply and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I definitely got the best one out there – sorry ladies… but i did! I love you Cliff….

Eph 2:8-9 says; For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. Not a result of works so that no one may boast.

1 Cor 1:31; “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord”.

Thank-you, Jesus – I love you. You are my hope alone.
xo

Glory 2.0

Hmmm, couldn’t just leave it at that….

2 Cor 4:7-15;

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.

Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, I believed, and so I spoke, we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.

[ESV Note: The word treasure is in reference to the "knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ" as the content of the gospel. Jars of clay is a common metaphor in the ancient world for human weakness. God triumphs amid human weakness, embodying the principle of Christ's crucifixion.]

Ok….so here we see again, that life here on earth is not about our comfort, but in the end, to the glory of God.

I felt like I couldn’t just leave it with my opinion from my last entry. I had intended to include this passage from the Bible as the basis of our understanding that anything good about us is because of God (vs 7) and that we can expect hard times living in the present evil age (vs8-9) but in spite of it all, God is made great in our lives as we live in Him. Our testimony shines the light on God’s faithfulness. Our broken lives, redeemed, reveal God’s great glory.

We are afflicted in every way – yikes (but not crushed), perplexed (but not driven to despair), persecuted (but not forsaken), struck down (but not destroyed). Instead of looking at the things we struggle with, maybe we could look at how bad it could be and how God delivers us in the nick of time.

We read in 2 Cor 6:2 that God says:

” ‘In a favorable time I listened to you,
and in a day of salvation I have helped you.’

Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation.”

I can totally tell you how absolutely true this is. Having experienced God’s rescuing first-hand! And His timing is perfect and His salvation is complete. I know what despair looks like, affliction – yes, perplexed – definitely, persecution – that too, and forsaken – oh boy – was i ever… but God heard every prayer, every cry and he rescued me just in time.

Don’t give up. Memorize these verses if you feel like giving up – they have helped me on my journey for healing and wholeness – God’s promises are totally trustworthy.

David writes the following:

Ps 27:13; I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Psalm 138:8; The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me.

Godspeed,
er
xo

For His glory

I know it has kinda become a cliche thing to say ‘it’s all for God’s glory’ but you know, that’s why we were created. And it really *is* all for His glory. We are. We might not be doing a great job at it, but contrary to popular Christian belief, we weren’t created for God to bless us. We weren’t created to have God give us whatever we want. Everything that God ordains is for His glory. I actually used to believe that God was all about blessing me and making things work out for me. God has been showing me that my life is actually not about me, it’s about Him. The things He allows and disallows in my life have a lot more to do with HIM than me.

I think that helps us understand why things happen the way they do. Life isn’t going to be perfect but we can know that God is going to be glorified through our lives (that’s His first priority) and it will work together for my good (even though I can’t see that right away, a lot of the times).

There are some things I’m working through *still*. Things I don’t understand, things that weren’t fair, things that hurt, things that were wrong. I’ve wronged people, and others have wronged me. For many years my life was messed up – i was in an environment that was harmful to me and I didn’t have a way out. God rescued me in the end, but it wasn’t soon enough in my mind. The rescue was swift, but it was a long time coming.

I really questioned how God could allow what happened to me. I was so deceived, so broken and so lost. I didn’t know up from down, or left to right, but God did. And over the past few years God has revealed the testimony in it all….

I had always felt that God was supposed to be making our lives so great and wonderful – I didn’t realize that although painful for me, God’s glory was on His mind. He was preparing my testimony. He was bringing about something for His glory. The day he rescued me, is the first day I could start to even imagine that there was a testimony… when in fact the true testimony was being written in my heart all those years previous, and that day was when God finally decided to let me in on it.

I didn’t see it right away, but each new day…The longer I’ve become free, the more I see that although painful and devastating, my life and the journey I was on, has helped create me to be the girl I am today. One who has been saved, rescued and redeemed by God. I would not be this person had I not endured what I have gone through. I can’t believe it, but I’m actually saying it now: “I’m glad for what happened”. I wouldn’t wish for anyone to have to go through what I did, but without it, I would not be where I am. I would not have the family I have, I would not have the relationship with my husband that I have. The freedom with my children and in my friendships. I would not have these convictions, nor would I have this passion to live for God the way I do; To pursue purity and righteousness. I would not have the relationship I have with God, I would not love the way I do now. I would not be able to show grace – but I can now because I have received it so extravagantly.

It’s true that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Rom 8:28) But it doesn’t necessarily mean it feels good in the process, but the good that is brought about, is for the purposes of God, which is for His glory. Never ours.

Listen to the ESV study notes on Rom 8:28;

God weaves everything together for good for His children. The “good” in this context does not refer to earthly comfort but conformity to Christ (vs29), closer fellowship with God, bearing good fruit for the kingdom, and final glorification (vs30).

I can honestly too you today that God fulfilled this exact purpose in my life. As Joseph said to his brothers while disclosing his identity to them, “what you intended for harm, God intended for good”. They had sold him into slavery out of jealousy and Joseph’s life had it’s serious ups and downs…but in the end, it was all for God’s glory.

God is faithful and all His promises are true. Don’t lose hope today when things and circumstances are not going according to your plan and time-frame. God is good and when you have the testimony – He will be glorified in and through your life. Read more about Joseph in Genesis 37-47; if you think you’ve got it bad, or had it bad – take a look at Joseph’s life – you probably don’t have it *that* bad.

Remember God’s glory WILL be revealed…we can either embrace it or fight it…so why not let the testimony come in God’s timing and for His glory.

Thanks for reading today….
lots of love,
er

Worship that costs….

I went through this ‘giving God what He deserves’ phase a few years ago (shouldn’t have been a phase, but rather a lifestyle ), because as a worship leader I really felt that as a congregation of worshipers we sometimes worship however it was convenient. If we were tired we might not clap, if we were bothered by a certain song, we might read the bulletin instead of participating. If we are angry at our spouse we might just sit down altogether. And quite frankly if we didn’t feel gushy and goose-bumpy in the service we might actually just decide that this lovey-dovey worship stuff isn’t for us and shut out God, perhaps deciding the “Word” is the most important part of the service anyways.

Many people will confess that they ‘worship God in their own way’, but that’s not Biblical. The Bible actually tells us what worship looks like, physically, emotionally and spiritually. We should look at this in the coming weeks…. remind me, k? But now onto the ‘cost’ of a life of worship.

I know that worship has to cost us something, because that’s what the Bible tells us. David says it perfectly in the exchange he has at the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite, in 2 Sam 24:16-25; I’ll include that now:

And Gad came that day to David and said to him, “Go up and raise an altar to the Lord on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite.” So David went up at Gad’s word, as the Lord commanded. And when Araunah looked down, he saw the king and his servants coming on toward him. And Araunah went out and paid homage to the king with his face to the ground. And Araunah said, “Why has my lord the king come to his servant?” David said, “To buy the threshing floor from you, in order to build an altar to the Lord, that the plague may be averted from the people.” Then Araunah said to David, “Let my lord the king take and offer up what seems good to him. Here are the oxen for the burnt offering and the threshing sledges and the yokes of the oxen for the wood. All this, O king, Araunah gives to the king.” And Araunah said to the king, “May the Lord your God accept you.” But the king said to Araunah, “No, but I will buy it from you for a price. I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing.” So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver. And David built there an altar to the Lord and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings. So the Lord responded to the plea for the land, and the plague was averted from Israel.

Ok, you get this right? Araunah is willing to completely cover the cost of David’s worship, essentially. In this moment, David had the opportunity to delegate his worship. Basically the equivalent of sending a replacement in to do our worship for us. David is king after all… he must have better things to do than go to all that trouble right? Especially if there’s someone willing to do it for him. Hmmmm?

It’s actually not that weird in this day and age, come to think of it. We can send our tithes (tithes/offering = worship) in over the internet, we can watch a church service (preaching/teaching = worship) on tv while we’re ironing, mail in our prayer (worship) requests so someone else can pray them for us. Or we can make it as far as going to church, but only at a distance. We can let the worship leader do the God-seeking, singing (worship), we can watch others worship and perhaps sing a long if we really like a particular song and we can keep from developing any relationships with our church family and we can withhold our gifts (worship) by not getting involved or serving in the local church (worship). We can decide that tithes and offerings are not all that Biblical and actually get offended with the idea altogether.

I love that the true worshiper in David is once again revealed. The fact that he refused to give God an offering that didn’t cost him anything is probably another reason why God loved David so much. David’s love for God superseded convenience. David’s was a love relationship with God, not a service relationship. David wasn’t going through the motions, He knew that what he gave God should be expensive.

I don’t know that I always realize how cheap I make my worship. I am probably finding ways every day to pass the buck of worship. Find reasons why I can’t give to God my best, my first, my favourite… but I also know that there are some days when I see that I am giving God something costly and it feels good. I want God to know that *I know* He deserves more from me than what others get – of my time, my patience, my love, my focus – or whatever.

So, hold me to it – together let’s make this statement true of our lives as best as we can:
“NO, but I will buy it from you for a price. I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing”.

I think God definitely deserves that…

In Christ,
er

Happy New Year…

So looking forward to this new year. Although I always feel like September is the start of so many new things, January has even been more profound for me. And I just know this year will be no different!

In 2 Cor 6:16, the Bible says that “we are a temple of the Living God; as God says, ‘I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God and they shall be my people’”.

This past year God has been teaching me about knowing who I am in Him. Knowing what I am called to be, by Him. Allowing me to be in environments that aren’t easy for me, simply to teach me that my confidence is in Him. My strength is not my own, it’s His.

I have always had a temptation to find my identity in others. In what others think about me, or at least what I perceive people to be thinking. I have spent much too much time seeking approval from people, when all along the only One that I can fully trust, the only One that i can ever find full security in is God. My bad. I thought I had learned this before but it’s a habit that is dying slowly.

I was leading worship this morning and a song that I’ve just recently started doing called ’search me, know me’ has this amazing chorus that says “Create in me a heart that’s clean, conquer the power of secret shame, come wash away the guilty stain of all my sin. Clothe me in robes of righteousness, cover my nakedness with grace. All of my life before You now I humbly bring”.

Once again I’m seeing how many things are vying for my attention, or at least my distraction. God has been faithful to move me from where I was to where I am but I’m constantly pulled back – or at least to look back. That line in the above chorus about the power of secret shame – wow… that’s just a great thing for us to be singing about because the Bible tells us that ‘He whom the Son sets free is free indeed’, yet how come so many of us are failing to walk in that freedom, but rather just hanging our heads in shame or disappointment? Not necessarily because we’re doing wrong stuff, but because we have and we just won’t let ourselves get over it. We aren’t receiving the forgiveness that is there for us. It’s already done – time to move on.

2 Cor 3:16-end

“But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the lord is there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

A girlfriend of mine gave me a ‘word’ as a gift for Christmas. She found this word somewhere in wood letters with a card defining this word. The word is ‘renew’. It sounds like a lot like freedom to me and that’s what I’m experiencing in my life in increasing measure as I am experiencing God’s favour, grace and love every day.

Let me just tell you what Renew means. My friend included this in her card.

Re-new (verb)
1. to begin or take up again,
2. resume
3. to restore or replenish
4. to revive, reestablish
5. to recover
6. to restore to a former state; make new or as if new again

This is what God does in us – This is the hope that we can have because of the salvation and redemption we have through Jesus Christ.

I hope and pray that this year is a year of freedom for you. If you need God to restore what has been taken from you or lost, I pray that God would bring renewal into your lives and homes as well…

Let’s not let a year go by without responding to this love and grace offered to us. Living life the way God intended us to. For His glory…

With much love…in Christ,
er
xo

God, help me

God help me. I have incorrectly learned that to ask You for help to do Your will is wrong, and that asking You to help me love You more is undeserving of You. I have been taught that my desire for You should supersede my need for You. I understand that this thinking is sinful, not to mention impossible. It is not humanly possible to give you anywhere near what You deserve and it’s certainly impossible to do it on my own, without You constantly at work in my life.

You are showing me that You are my only hope to get things right and that is only by Your power in me that enables me to overcome my sins and my humanity that are working overtime to distract me all day, every day. I am constantly catching myself as I swerve every-which-way, but thankfully it’s by Your grace that I’m not completely taken off-course. I simply cannot get things right on my own.

So I ask You to help me. Help me to love others as You have asked us to. Help me to become less self-seeking as I seek You. Help me to learn to put others ahead of myself, and to put You ahead of everything else. Help my thoughts to become more like Yours. Help me to be patient with others in the way you are with me. Help me to be gentle, quiet and peaceable with those You put on my daily path. Help me to understand people and to live in love, rather than fear. Keep me from judging people by what I see and to seek to understand their needs instead of how those needs make me feel.

I desire to do Your will but I do not achieve that – I just pursue it. I pursue You. I need Your help through eternity to walk straight and to worship You alone. Thank-You for guiding my steps, thank-You for Your Word as it is my only light unto my feet. Thank-You for the forgiveness of my willful sins and for the present hope I have because I am walking with You and have chosen Your ways.

God help me each day. For it is in You alone I put my hope.

I love You, God,
Erin
xo

Wait for the Lord

Omgoodness, patience is not one of the *easier* fruit of the Spirit for this girl. Just today I was worrying about something (well, for a few days now) and as I was jogging (8kms today – woot! woot!) I was *gently* reminded that it wasn’t mine to carry. God is constantly re-reminding me to trust Him; He’s good for it. He delivers. BUT… why can’t I just remember that in the first place?? He’s faithful – check. He’s good – check. Relax – check.